This article is meant to be an introduction for the Chinese reader to a widely known discussion in the same-sex marriage controversy. It first utilizes American communitarian argument indicating the shortcomings of the reason that supports same-sex marriage based on equality. If the real issue, as communitarians suggest, is the purpose (function or value) of marriage, the historical development and modern transformation of Chinese marriage should be examined. The article then shows what seems to motivate both sides of the controversy is the struggle for surplus recognition, that is, when the state recognizes the legitimacy of gay marriage, the state additionally recognizes the legitimacy of gayness. A way to minimize the controversy seems to be minimizing the surplus recognition, which can be achieved in other ways than the state backing out the marriage institution; thus, a call for the innovation in both institutional reform and discourse renewal.